I got to thinking about you yesterday. And as I was driving, shock overwhelmed me upon the realization that I can't really remember what it was like to be with you. You're a distant memory, faded and foggy. I couldn't help but giggle. It sounds mean, but you must understand after all the pain you caused. I don't hate you by any stretch of the imagination, but all the while that I did remember, my heart would only ache with regret and sorrow.
Few are the fond memories and plentiful are the sour ones. I can faintly remember your smile and I think I'll always remember your laugh. I remember the pain in your eyes when you would say your sorry. It was that pain that led me to believe you were sincere every time you said it. And I think you believed you were sorry. Maybe you were. But it never changed anything.
I can't remember what it felt like to kiss you or be in your arms or spend time with you. Your presence has faded from my memory and I'm overjoyed. I'm overjoyed because I can't help but wonder if this is what it's like to be healed.
I've always worried that when it came down to being with the "one" I was meant to be with, my heart and head would be clouded with the memories of others. However, feeling the way I feel now, I am hopeful that one day my head will be full only with the thoughts and memories of one man.
I suppose I'm telling you all of this because I know you've been free of me since the day you broke up with me. That I was quickly replaced without a second thought or consideration. And two days ago, that was a painful memory. Now, I can't help but smile feeling nothing at all.
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