Some form of Coherence at this Hour.

It's quarter to seven in the morning as I'm starting this, huddled in sweats with a giant blanket wrapped around my shoulders. The sun is just barely scraping the horizon yet and I've been awake for far too long. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if God is the very one keeping me up, forcing me to make time for Him in my currently packed schedule.

I feel as though my life right now is like this sunrise. Painfully slow. What I mean is that before the sun starts to make its way into our hemisphere, it's pitch black. And it seems as though there is no hope and as though the sun may never come up.

Just when I was wondering what was taking so long, the sky started to turn purple. Now, the piece that goes onto infinity is a perriwinkle, just below it, the sapphire blue that has become my favorite. Then almost a gray, yellow, then orange just at the horizon.

It's funny to me how even before the sun is showing itself over the hills, you can make out shapes in the light. Not much is hidden even now in the graying of dawn.

All of this, I feel, is a direct parallel, metaphor, whatever it is you would like to call it, to my life. I feel as though I'm making this slow progression toward Light. Right now, it's hard to see perfectly and it feels as though I may never see the sun. But as sure as it rises every morning, I am certain the sun will rise in this season in my life. "For I am confident I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

This season is agonizingly slow and I'm not used to taking my time, but someone very wise said to me, "do not despise small beginnings". A sunrise is not small to say the least, but all of this feels very small, very insignificant.

So here I am, freezing, staring hopefully through my frosted window pane. I can see more as the sun is getting ready to make its appearance for the day over the little town of Bethlehem. And as I wait, I know I'm going to miss it because I have a whole day ahead of me that I must prepare for.

But something I've realized after all this time is that whether I see the sun rise or not, it still will and it will still be glorious. Because the heavens declare His glory so I shouldn't expect anything less from just a small little galaxy somewhere in this big universe.

I AM, indeed, confident that I will see His goodness today, tomorrow, and the day after that. It's permeating my atmosphere, my world. Whether I'm looking for it or not.certain