I’ve discovered I struggle with gossip. I’ve realized she’s a little seed, a small whisper. VeggieTales wasn’t very far off. A rumor weed. Something that starts off small and insignificant like a little ugly dandelion on your front lawn. Then, before you know it, it’s running rampant. Your once beautiful, crisp, green lawn has turned into a weed infestation, yellow spotting and overtaking all the beauty.
Something I learned from someone I respect very much is that my heart is like a garden. When I’m born, it’s raw, rich soil, full of nutrients and ready for planting. Slowly, as I live my life, seeds are planted and begin to grow. I can have a beautiful, luscious garden full of exotic and fragrant flowers. Or I can have a patch of dry earth, weeds cracking up and rocks and pebbles infesting everything.
Gossip is like a weed. It’s like too much sun and not enough rain. It’s all death and no life. I’ve realized that when I ask, “Wait. What?” it’s because my curiosity has been peaked. I heard something of interest and I have to find out the rest. It seems harmless enough. I’m curious, right? And there’s no harm in knowing. As long as I’m not talking about it to other people…
I realized that is gossip. Why is anyone else’s business any of my business? Why is their story getting told through the lips of another? Are they dead? Did this person read their memoir and is passing on a lovely thought of nostalgia? More often than not, the answer is no. So why am I hearing about something that’s going on in their life from your lips? It’s none of MY business. Why is it any of yours? Unless this person told you this thing and was like, “Oh, yeah! Go ahead! Tell anyone you like. I don’t care.” That’s something different entirely. But if someone tells you something in confidence, why are you opening your mouth? And if Sheila told Jim who told Eric who told Cindy who told Lucy who told Angel who told Larry… And you’re hearing it from Larry… Why do you even open your ears? Why do you need to know what’s going on with Sheila from the mouth of Larry?
If you need to know that bad, I challenge you… ASK SHEILA. Yes, Sheila is fictional. But the theme remains the same. If you need to know what’s going on with someone you know or even you don’t know, you can ask them. I know it sounds completely and utterly ridiculous or even scary. I don’t care. Your friend’s business is their business until they make it your business. You shouldn’t be hearing anything about anyone else’s life unless they’re telling you. Period. No exceptions. Any words about anyone else’s personal life IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. It’s not my business.
So I’ve discovered this only now. I’ve only realized this tonight after living almost twenty years believing hearing tidbits about someone else really isn’t gossip. It’s nothing they wouldn’t tell me, right? Everyone else knows. Why not me, too? Why should I be kept in the dark?
STOP. It’s gossip. Plain and simple. Their life, their stories, their facts are not yours to tell, to hear unless it’s from their lips and their lips alone. We’ve let this pollute and overtake and poison our gardens long enough.
Our church is a garden just as much as my heart is a garden. Yet we gossip, we slander, we “quote” as often as we like as though throwing our non-biodegradable trash won’t affect what other people are trying to grow.
Enough is enough.
And my lips are sealed.
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