Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?

You know, I can’t help but wonder if Jesus saw David’s words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” and questioned what exactly they meant. I can almost see Him asking you, “Father, what does this mean? Why does David ask this?” Because to someone who has never been separated from you, it doesn’t make any sense. When David wrote these words, his heart aching, Jesus had yet to understand what being separated from you was like.

I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like to feel completely in sync with you, united, as one. What it must’ve felt like to never have felt the separation that sin places between man and God. Oh, joyous day to never have that constant interruption. It’s like a fly buzzing around your head that just won’t leave you alone, it gives you no reprieve.

But then…All of a sudden, to have all the world’s sin come crashing down on you in one foul sweep. In one moment, there is a gap, a space between God and Jesus. How that must have felt. The complete and utter despair and confusion…

For the first time ever in my young life, my heart clutches in my chest for Christ in a way it never has. I’ve been tormented by the amount of torture my Love underwent for my sake, for my sin, but this is entirely different. This feeling…this is utter empathy, this is a longing to hold Jesus in my arms and comfort Him. Ha! The idea. A human comforting the Savior… It’s in my heart nonetheless.

I can’t help but wonder if David’s psalm suddenly came to mind around that ninth hour. I can’t help but think that it must’ve; that all of a sudden, with sickening clarity, He understood exactly why David had uttered those words…

Jesus didn’t whisper or sigh, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” It says He “cried out in a loud voice” (Matthew 27:46). In a moment’s notice, there was that awful imposing gap. That same gap David had felt. In a moment, Jesus met sin. Anger almost consumes me at the thought. I just want to scream, “Get away from Him!” To know that Jesus experienced such a horrible thing… No amount of physical torture could ever compare to separation from God.

That’s why hell is so horrible to even consider. It’s eternal separation from God… No, thank you.

But He did all of that for me. Jesus, after an eternity spent united with His Father, not only left Heaven, but chose to be separated as we are all separated. That is love.

Never again will I feel as though Jesus doesn’t understand. Because all of this tells me that He experienced the most horrible part of humanity and that is the separation, the void that sin brings into the human heart. Never again will I feel as though there isn’t a soul that can relate to me in the entire universe. There is comfort; there is hope that Jesus understands me completely and wholly. And I believe that is what He accomplished on that cross, not only saying, “I have saved you. I have redeemed you,” but, “I know. I’ve been there. More than you could possibly ever know…”

Oh, my Jesus. Never again, will I doubt the fact that you were once human, too. That you do know.

I love you.