Passion Plays and Discretionary Dreams

There are those films that we all know and love that are given “epic” status.  They are films like Gladiator with Russel Crowe and Braveheart with Mel Gibson, Remember the Titans with Denzel Washington and Freedom Writers with Hillary Swank.  Movies like these are considered “epic” because they center around one person or a group of people that will quite literally stop at nothing to obtain their goal.  They will not rest.  They will not be swayed. They will not be distracted.  They all feel doubt.  They all feel despondent. At times, they feel as though it cannot be done, but it does not change the goal. It does not change the journey.  They are the picture of resilience and fortitude and eventually, victory.  They are the stuff of legend.  That’s often times why there is a movie about them.

We love these movies. We relish in these books, drinking up their pages.  Everyone loves an underdog.  We love the stories of those who come from nothing eventually being victorious; not taking society’s “no” as their final answer.  We love this, but today, we will not adopt this. These great movies and moments and stories all occur within an hour or two on a big screen and so when something takes years or even weeks or months, we’re disheartened, discouraged and assume that it’s really not worth fighting for.

This mentality of self sacrifice and wholesome ambition, refusal to compromise, to step down has all but disappeared. We have made it so easy to “get famous”, to accomplish our “goals”, to get what we want NOW.  Anything that takes real work is laughable, a joke, or seen as unrealistic.  Few of us know what perseverance and steadfastness and pursuit mean.  It’s manifested in our “mating rituals”, in our pursuance of a mate, in our work ethic and job searches.  We want our “dream jobs” which often times are nothing more than get-rich-quick schemes that involve something we’re “good” at.

I think often times the problem is that we expect the achievement of our goals to look similar to popularity and acceptance when in reality they almost never go hand in hand.  I’ve heard it said that what is often right is not always what is popular.  Our dreams and ambitions turn into passing fancies and whimsical fairy tales.  We know nothing of what it means to wait patiently for something.

We’re afraid of being alone. We’re afraid of what it may mean to pursue our dream at all costs.  For what price do we ever pay for the things we desire today?  I want that boy. It’s as easy as smiling just so and maybe even winking.  It’s as simple as a little playful banter and just with a snap of your fingers, he’s yours.  For a moment.

There’s phone and tv and car upgrades every six months—something flashier, something newer, something with more capabilities.  We don’t know anything about sustainability.  We don’t teach the importance of quality.  We plant a million saplings and when they don’t withstand gale force winds are in utter shock because well, there was a million of them!

I’m not saying technology and advancement and industrialization are all bad.  I am infatuated with technology.  I think it’s fascinating.  I also, however, believe there’s something to be said about simplicity and quality as opposed to the quick fix.  I was in a store with my best friend just yesterday and there were so many beautiful looking furniture items, but the moment I touched them with my hand, I was disgusted.  They looked great, but I could snap them like twigs (let’s remember I’m 5’4” and 120 pounds. Breaking things like twigs is not exactly something that comes naturally or easily to someone of my stature).

I suppose I’m learning so much more than I ever wanted to learn about the word “compromise”.  Depending on the circumstance, the connotation of this word changes.  In a marriage, compromise is a good thing.  It teaches us that we are not the only beings on the planet and that just because it’s my way, doesn’t mean that it’s the only way.  But when it comes to our dreams, our hopes, our morals, the things we love, compromise becomes something cowardly and disgusting.  Despite this, compromise has become synonymous with advancement or a practical grasp on reality.

We experience opposition with the things we love, the things we’re chasing and at first sign that it may not go the way we expected, the way we wanted, assume it just simply isn’t mean to be and shy away.  This has become so adopted, so ingrained that this is even how we deal with people.  “Working at this marriage is way harder than I want it to be, so I’m out.”  We’ve grown so accustomed to short-lived, wild, passionate flings that when the flame flickers because there’s more to a relationship than passion and whim, we run.  It’s lost its luster so it’s time to just buy an upgrade, right?  It’s not functioning the way it’s supposed to so I just get the next best thing.

My whole point isn’t even about relationships today.  It’s really that I’m astonished that I don’t know what it means to be ambitious without being deceitful or without posturing, bowing and scraping.  I don’t know what it means to be accomplished without compromising something along the way.

Dreams are no longer dreams, but agendas—strategically mapped out, planned, day by day, month by month.  And if it doesn’t go the way I intended, then the plan is faulty. Realistically adjust.  We meet people who are jaded and bitter from pursuing dreams with no success.  We meet people who pursued their hopes and failed and will assure us we will meet the same bitter end.

But the best stories are the people who don’t listen.  There are some that will stare the bitter and the broken in the face and use it as fuel.  They will raise their faces to the clouds and shakes their fists and roar that they will not stop, they will not rest until they see fulfillment.  They will fight against racism, sexism, ageism, discrimination and prejudices of all kinds to win their heart’s desire.  These are the heroes of all time past, present, and future. 

These are the stuff of legend, because I fear these people do not exist any longer.  I fear the flames of the hopeful, of the dreamers are flickering out in the face of statistics and realism and surety.  I am afraid that we have exchanged risk for certainty and adventure for a time punch card.

I’m not saying “stick it to the man!” or “freedom, bro!”.  Some little boy or girl’s dream is to be an accountant or a doctor or a salesman.  There is nothing wrong with these dreams.  I’m saying what is the price that you are willing to pay for your dream?  Because dreams fulfilled do not come cheaply.  They will cost you years of your life, blood, sweat, tears and a whole lot of pain.  But the thing is that when you are old and you have lived your life, I don’t think you will look back and be at peace with living your life securely or risk-free.  I think we look with fondness at children because every day they are fighting pirates or dragons or climbing towers to save the princess or fleeing the kingdom to love the peasant.  Adventure is in their marrow, but it is not for children alone I think.  I think we get jaded as we get older.  We forget what it means to take risks, to walk the plank, to climb the tower without a rope, to fight the dragon without a shield because why bother to fight the dragon at all?  I don’t really even want to fight a dragon, do I?  Why climb the tower for that princess when there’s a perfectly good one just sitting yonder?

The best things in life are the things we have to fight for.  I don’t care whether you’re Christian, Hindi, Muslim, or an Atheist.   There was a point where we all drank adventure and dreamed dreams until it eked from our pores and lit up the horizon with hope and joy and love.  And we’re losing what it means to be adventurous, to fight for the things we want because they’re only ever a click away and if it’s anything more than that, then we just decide we don’t want it.

I want to be a fighter. I want to remember what it was like to take all day to build a sand castle and dig a moat around it for my mutant alligators, to only play in it but for a few moments before the waves started to overcome it.  I want to remember what it was like to work for the things I loved, the things I wanted instead of having them handed to me like some pampered, spoiled brat.  I want to dream wildly and chase those visions regardless of the cost.

I want to write and pursue being published regardless of the fact that you essentially have to sell out and write trite, shallow crap to have a best-seller.  I don’t need a bestseller.  I have a realistic dream.  I want to do what I love and before I die have one hard-cover copy of something I have written and have had ten people that I do not know purchase that book.  Whether my writing pays the bills or not, I don’t care.  I don’t need it to.  I just promise myself that I will write and see the above goal accomplished even if it takes me the rest of my life to do so.

I believe that is passion.  I believe that is perseverance.  I forsook it for “reality”.  I gave it up because I didn’t believe that dreams do come true.  I abandoned it because of naysayers and doubt and fear.  But I know now what it is that I’m after and I will have it.

“My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife – and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” (Gladiator, 2000)

“All right, now, I don't want them to gain another yard! You blitz... all... night! If they cross the line of scrimmage, I'm gonna take every last one of you out! You make sure they remember, forever, the night they played the Titans!” (Remember the Titans, 2000)

"Fight and you may die. Run and you will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take our freedom!" (Braveheart, 1995)

“I don't want excuses. I know what you're up against. We're all of us up against something. So you better make up your mind, because until you have the balls to look me straight in the eye and tell me this is all you deserve, I am not letting you fail. Even if that means coming to your house every night until you finish the work. I see who you are. Do you understand me? I can see you. And you are not failing.” (Freedom Writers, 2007)