My South African Meteorite

There are people that come into your life and leave a profound impact.  Their presence, their life is like a great, big meteorite hitting earth.  And you know when they come in, you'll never quite be the same because of them.  There are several people in my life like this, but in comparison to all the people I have met, they are few.

The one I am currently thinking of is on the other side of the world.  Broken.  It's when this meteorite is removed from your world that you realize just how big of crater it made and really how no other meteorite will ever hit that exact place again and even if it did, the imprint would be very much foreign in comparison.

These people... There is something great and intriguing and unique and wonderful about them.  More often than not, they are someone that you may be romantically involved with, but on occasion, you find your counter part, your partner in crime, your best friend.  I can still hear her laugh and picture her accent and could really relay every curve of her face, the color of her eyes, and the way she walked.  I memorized every detail with her, every moment was more precious than the last. 

The primary thing that I've noticed about these people is that they are only ever in my life for a short period of time.  That very well may be why I soak up every bit of their presence because I know full well that the time is limited and soon enough, I'll have to say goodbye for they will move on to different things or I will.  It is usually this way.

So when these people are hurting, it is as though the chasm they once filled stretches and stares up at you emptily.  It serves as a painful reminder that they are no longer your meteorite and there is only so much you can do to console, to bring solace.

I suppose this is my way of telling her that even from continents apart, she is still with me.  And even more so than that, but that my heart is breaking with her, for her.  I cannot fathom the grief of losing your father.  I am incapable of relating to him being there one minute and gone the next.  I only know that the mere thought leaves me struggling for oxygen and choking back tears.  Because he's my best friend, but more importantly, he's my daddy and no one can ever, ever take that place or assume that role.

So, Jess, from across the Atlantic, separated by what feels like an eternity of blue, know that my heart is with you and yearning for peace and strength for you.  I suppose ultimately, I want you to know, despite what you may be feeling, you are not alone.  I may not be there physically to be the shoulder you may need to cry on or the arm you need to hold you up when you feel you cannot go on, but my spirit and my heart are with you until you no longer see fit to need them.

Above these things, darling, you know you are the furthest from being alone.  One of my favorite things about the Psalms is that they are full of moments where David would cry out, suffering from that void, lifeless feeling.  I think the reason he was called "a man after God's own heart" was because he got that no matter how alone he may have felt or how bad he had screwed up, he understood that God was never far away, that His love was truly limitless and unconditional.

And I can honestly say that in those darkest moments whether they were a result of self-infliction or imposed on me by my circumstances, those were the moments that He was closest.  Those were the moments that I could practically swim in His presence.  He's never far away, darling.  He's never standing several feet away, dangling "goodness" inches out of our reach.  The beautiful thing about Daddy is that He is available.

Remember Matthew 7?  Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you.  Ask and it will be given.  Read that passage and just remember who you are, who He is, and that I love you more than life.